From the opposite end of the workbench

…the twisted ramblings of a ship modeler.

Saying goodbye…

Well, not exactly…the recent decision to leave the staff of has brought about a series of emotions, happy, sad, mostly relief. I’ve had a great run here, met a lot of great people, and firmly planted into my subconscious that YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF WHACKOS!! As the Master Mutant Codeboy, nobody understands better than I how wonderful a group of people you are. Obnoxious, arrogant, sometimes mentally deficient, and often hygienically challenged, but wonderful nevertheless.


You’ve REALLY ticked me off at times, but you’ve also made me laugh, most of the time at myself, and you’ve always been there to help when we needed it. I wish there were a way to get everyone together for a party, just to celebrate the fun we’ve had. Course, someone would inevitably show up in a toga singing show tunes, and that’s a visual I just don’t want to deal with…


But hey, let’s look at this way…no more stupid emails…”Dear Jeff, I want to buy your 1/350 Essex Class Carrier Set in your White Ensign line, and your 1/350 Bismarck set in your Gold Medal Models line”. And each time this stupid email comes (at least twice a month) I have to reply back that ‘WE DON’T SELL ANYTHING”. And no, I refuse to ship a Nichimo Yamato to Botswana so you’ll have something to build while you’re on safari. ‘Do they really allow you to carry a rifle??’ Maybe we should have you rubbed with emu fat by a group of Zambutu Tribesman and set loose amongst a group of rabid hyena.


Please don’t feel like I’m leaving on a mission to Mars. I’m not, I’ll still be here, lurking around, and probably still writing about all the stupid things you do in my editorials. After all, this sarcasm is wasted on armor modelers, they just stand there with that deer in the headlights look, drool dripping from the corners of their mouths. The aircraft guys are in complete denial, they refuse to acknowledge the fact that I even exist, much less write anything about them…hmmm…maybe aircraft modelers are Liberals too??? Ooops, there ya’ go, mixing political views with model building…I’m bound to get hate mail from someone radical left wing modeling mutant…


Truth is, I need a break, not from modeling, or the website, but from life in general. Things go by so damn fast, that unless you grab the handbreak and slow things down, the show is over before you know it. I realized it when my daughter came in, sat down, and told me about her day…and I realized, it was a REAL conversation, not some babble from a toddler. My child is growing up in front of my eyes, and I don’t want to miss that. I spent far too many nights in front of this infernal machine, writing about mutants and modeling, when I should have been spending time playing Chutes and Ladders with the most important person in my life. Fortunately, I’ve realized this early enough to catch it. There’s 1200 things I want to do, and 24 hours in the day. I’m averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night, and it’s starting to effect my health. Once I established my priorities, I realized that I had to give up some things in order to maintain a level of normalcy. And sadly, daily participation in the site is one of the things on the list, just below midget strippers, fried banana and peanut-butter sandwiches, and a career as professional lounge singer.


So there you have it…like all other editorials I’ve written, I personally don’t give a rat’s ass what you think, because in the end, it doesn’t matter. If it’s made you laugh, great. That was part of my intention. If it’s opened your eyes to the things that are TRULY important in life, then that’s great too. If I’ve accomplished both, then this is probably the best editorial I’ve ever done.


And for the rest of you mutants, keep doing stupid, moronic things when you build, because I need the material!!!! In the meantime, the doors to the Mutant Modeler Lounge are always open, and guess who's tending bar??


Ta-ta for now,


Jeff Herne

The Mutant Codeboy