From the opposite end of the workbench
…the twisted ramblings of a ship modeler.
Once in awhile, I get the privilege of watching my beloved NY Yankees on network TV. Some bozo (probably Steinbrenner) decided the Yanks were too good to play on network TV, so they started their own channel and want an incredible amount of money added on to my already obnoxiously expensive cable TV bill… (ever see the movie ‘Falling Down?)
Anyway, once in awhile, you hear about ball players being in a slump…they
can’t hit the ball…and I still can’t fathom why these knuckleheads making
ga-zillions of dollars have a hard time hitting the ball. Had they never been able to hit
the ball, they wouldn’t be in the big league, and it would be understandable…but
how is that some guy making more money per minute than we make per month suddenly can’t
do what he’s paid to do?
Hit the freakin’ ball with the bat, run around the little bags
and win ball games…simple, isn’t it?
Well, I’m not a major league player, never came close, although
I did have some pitching talent in high school. I don’t ever recall being in a slump
until I started model building. Life usually gets in the way of a serious modeling
project, and like most other things we do for enjoyment, the project gets derailed by
mowing the lawn, soccer games, family picnics with the in-laws, funerals, weddings,
walking the dog…you get the gist.
I recently finished my S-100, and was motivated and excited about
what was coming next. I was contemplating my next project when I stumbled on the Panda
Burke…It doesn’t look tough, so I decided it would be a good short-term project.
Maybe it was the simple fact that I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with, maybe it was
because I was expecting more from a $20 kit…I simply don’t know.
I cut my modeling teeth on Frog airplane kits, Revell, Airfix, and
Lindbergh. This was all stuff you needed to really work on to make presentable, so I’m
used to sanding, filling, cutting and otherwise contorting plastic to make a reasonable
model.
But this kit did more than just piss me off, it started a slump…not
just a ‘ I don’t wanna build tonight’ slump, but a serious, ‘I’m
gonna trash this &%#(@#^@#()@*&$( piece of *(#&%#*(@#&$( kit !” type
of mood. When you finally do get all the parts together, you’ve got 45 miles of seams
to fill…It’s not the best engineered kit I’ve ever built…
Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the quality of kits I’ve been
building, White Ensign resin, Regia Marina, BWN and Classic Warships, and the new
Trumpeter stuff. Even with the old Tamiya stuff (Bismarcks, Yamatos, Fletchers, etc.), we
know what to expect. With almost everything out there being of pretty good quality, I can’t
fathom why this kit bothers me so much. Maybe it’s just me, and many of you who have
built, or are building this kit, will think I’m over-reacting. Oh well, that’s
your opinion, and you’re entitled to have one.
This model is getting the brunt of my bad attitude, and as a result I’ve
lost the desire to do ANYTHING related to model building. As I sit here and write this, I’m
still in that same ‘Destroy! Destroy!’ mood, but I’m ranting about models,
so it’s allowable. Maybe it’s partially due to the lack of sleep, or maybe it
was the previous ‘hell week’ I endured at the office that’s finally
catching up to me, I dunno.
But what I do know, is that I am breaking my cardinal rule of ship
modeling. I am putting this model back in the box, relegating it to the Island of Misfit
toys, and don’t care if I ever build it.
I think I’m going to let this slump carry for a day or two, just
long enough to prevent me from running over the kit with my car, because maybe, someday, I’ll
be in the right mood to tackle this bitch of a kit and turn it into something presentable.
Now, before you go jumping down my throat…I can turn this kit into something
presentable RIGHT NOW, if I wanted to…but I don’t. My grandfather always said,
“it’s kinda like putting perfume on a pig”.
I think a slump occurs when you feel defeated. I feel like this model
beat me. I conceded, and it won. I don’t have any other projects at present which
will finish up in any reasonable amount of time, so the expectation of having something
completed is not there…it’s the same feeling you get when you start out on that
long trip YOU KNOW isn’t going to be fun.
This is the same reason that as a kid, I’d sit for 20 hours
building a model, just because I wanted it complete. Back then, it was finish it and start
on the next one. Now, there’s research, the ritual of preparing the workshop for the
next project, and all the ancillary crap that goes into starting a project.
I don’t have a lack of projects…good grief, I have dozens
of projects slated, any of which are ready to be started…but at this particular
moment, nothing appeals to me.
It just turned midnight, and I’ve managed to kill another 4
hours sitting at this infernal machine, when I should have been building something and
having something tangible to show for my time and effort. But, there’s no model shows
coming up next weekend, no model club meetings worth breaking my neck over, and there’s
always the S-boot to drag to the competitions in the fall…so there’s no reason
to keep the production line moving if I don’t feel like it. Maybe I’ll take a
break, maybe I’ll just wander into the shop and see what happens.
Now, for the rest of you…Go build a model…
Jeff Herne
Modelwarships.com